


By All Rights

by grey853



Category: due South
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Male Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-03
Updated: 2013-07-03
Packaged: 2017-12-17 13:46:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/868238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grey853/pseuds/grey853
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray and Fraser celebrate an anniversary as they work on their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	By All Rights

**Author's Note:**

> Previously published in BODY HEAT #4.

**By All Rights**  
by Grey  
[Grey853@aol.com](mailto:Grey853@aol.com?subject=By%20All%20Rights)

* * *

"You really shouldn't encourage him, Ray." 

Ray wiped the sticky white powder off his hands and mouth with a napkin and then reached into the paper sack for another doughnut. "If it weren't for the Diefster here, we'd still be running our skinny asses off trying to catch that scumbag, Callister." Ray pitched the next doughnut out away from where they sat on the park bench. "Go get it, buddy. You earned it." 

The wolf grabbed it up greedily and took off. "Regardless, Ray, they're not good for him." 

"Hey, he works it off. He's still a lean, mean fighting machine when we need him. A few doughnuts can't hurt." 

"A few, no, a few dozen, yes. Besides, you spoil him shamelessly." 

"And you don't?" Ray sat back smiling, his face red from the bitter Chicago wind. "Don't think I don't see you slipping him leftovers under the table." 

"Just bits here and there, nothing like you do." 

"Yeah, right." 

Ray stretched out, his legs in front of him, ankles crossed, and his left arm resting across the bench behind Fraser's broad shoulders. He consciously kept his hand to himself, not daring to touch even his partner's back in public. Still, just sitting together in the park made him happy, happier than he'd been in ages. Being with Fraser always reminded him of the good times with Stella, but even better, because he knew when they got behind closed doors, Fraser wanted him as much as he wanted Fraser. He never had to beg or pretend he knew what the hell was wrong this time. He could talk or not talk and Fraser understood, accepted all his little quirks, all the little things that drove Stella crazy. Not that Fraser was all fun and games, not with his freakish need for order and neatness, but he made Ray's life whole, something Ray never thought he'd ever have again after Stella stomped on his heart and took off, telling him he was the biggest loser on the whole damn planet. 

"Ray?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Are you all right? You suddenly seem rather pensive." 

Ray smiled and met concerned blue eyes. "I'm greatness. Just thinking about how good things are right now." 

Fraser relaxed and then leaned back, aware of Ray's arm across the bench. "I, too, find myself pondering how the quality of our lives has improved over the last month." 

"Has it only been a month?" 

Fraser stared and tilted his head, gauging the seriousness of Ray's question. "We've been partners for eight months and six days. We've been much more than that for one month tomorrow." 

Ray grinned in amusement. "Counting the days together, huh?" 

"It's not something I can help, Ray." 

"I know that. You're better than a calendar. You've got an internal clock they should patent or something." 

Fraser nodded, taking the comment in stride, his mind suddenly elsewhere. "Ray, would you like to do something special tomorrow night?" 

"You mean like for an anniversary or something?" 

"I thought perhaps we might do something a bit different to mark the occasion." 

"I'm game. What do you have in mind?" 

"There's a new exhibit of Aboriginal art of North American tribes at the Field Museum. I thought we could see it first and then go to dinner, my treat." 

"You want to go to a museum on our anniversary?" 

"I know that you don't always find that sort of thing engaging, Ray, but the exhibit is only on loan for a few weeks. I'd really like you to see it." Fraser hesitated slightly before he added, "It reminds me of home." 

Ray's tone softened as he leaned in a little closer. "You've already seen it?" 

"Yesterday afternoon when Inspector Thatcher was making final security arrangements for the Canadian contents of the collection. It's got a marvelous selection of Inuit pieces." 

"And it reminds you of home, huh?" 

Fraser flushed a little and nodded. "Yes." 

"Then we'll go. I'd like to see it, see what you see." It took all his discipline not to take Ben's hand, not to kiss him right then and there out in the open. A woman went past walking her poodle and he glanced over to see a young couple kissing and holding hands just a few benches away. Ray sat back and took a deep breath to control his frustration. "I hate this." 

Fraser frowned, unsure of Ray's meaning. "Hate what, Ray?" 

"That I can't even touch you in public. If you were a woman, it'd be no problem." 

Fraser nodded in comprehension. "We both knew the restrictions before we started this relationship." 

"But it's not right and it's not fair. We're a couple as much as anybody." Ray indicated the pair who were still holding hands and being all lovey-dovey. "But we don't get to do what they do. It sucks." 

"We can do what they do, Ray, but we just have to do it in private. To be honest, I'm not that comfortable with explicit public displays of affection." 

"Well, no, no need to go overboard, but it'd be nice to hold hands or just kiss. We can't even do that without worrying that somebody will find out. It's like I'm undercover while I'm undercover. I'm pretending to be Vecchio and now I'm pretending to be something I'm not on top of that." 

"I understand your frustration, Ray. It's not easy for me, either." 

Ray frowned and shrugged. "Yeah, I saw that deal with Frannie this morning. The woman will not buy a clue." 

"I'm sure if she knew I was in a committed relationship, she'd stop. Unfortunately, we can't tell her without telling the others as well." 

"You better believe it. Tell Frannie and it's like telling the Six O'clock News." 

"She does seem rather proficient at the dispersal of information." 

"If you're saying she's got a big mouth, yeah." 

"She means well, Ray. It's not her fault that she doesn't have all the pertinent facts as to my availability." 

"Don't make excuses, Ben. Even if she doesn't know you're with me, she's shameless. She should have to have a license for that skirt she was wearing yesterday. She could've stopped traffic with that thing." 

"It was rather skimpy." 

"Skimpy, hell. I thought the Lieutenant was going to have a stroke when she bent over to get the Connors file." 

"Some of her attire does stretch appropriate boundaries." 

"Give it up, Ben. There's no excuse for the stuff she wears other than she wants to show off the goods, let you know what you're missing." 

Fraser rubbed his forehead and shook his head. "I wish there were a gentle way to dissuade her from such behavior without hurting her feelings." 

"Short of a two by four to her head, I don't see it, not without letting her in on what's going on." 

"Which we, of course, can't do." 

"So you'll just have to grin and bear it or I'll have to fix her up with somebody, the sooner the better." 

"Ray, the date with Marty Shupert was a disaster. Francesca refused to talk to you for a week after that." 

"Hey, who knew the guy was a perv? Besides, there are plenty of Martys in the sea. We just have to keep fishing around until we find the right one for Frannie. We find her some other schmuck to go for and she'll leave you alone." 

"Then, by all means, Ray, do your best." 

Ray nodded and then stood up, stretching achy muscles and looking around for the wolf. "Where's Dief?" 

Fraser smiled, pointing in the direction of the poodle across the park. Ray laughed and joked at the wolf's bold and determined efforts to be friends with the disinterested canine. "Our boy's half dog, that's for sure." 

Straightening his hat, Fraser moved to retrieve Diefenbaker while Ray stepped along beside him. "Ben?" 

"Yes, Ray?" 

"Do we need to dress up for this thing tomorrow?" 

"Dress up?" 

"Yeah, you know, a suit and tie or is it casual?" 

"A suit and tie would be appreciated." 

"Guess I should pick up my grey suit from the cleaners then." 

"I picked it up yesterday, Ray." 

"You did?" 

"It was on the way home." 

Ray grinned. "You've been planning this thing for a while, huh?" 

"Proper preparation prevents poor performance." Before they reached Diefenbaker, Fraser whispered, "And you always look so fetching in your grey suit, Ray." 

Ray fought down his blush as Fraser proceeded to apologize profusely to the lady for his pushy, unrepentant wolf. 

* * *

In a hurry to see Ben, Ray took the concrete steps in front of the Consulate two at a time. Pushing open the doors, he rushed in and came to an abrupt halt in front of the desk. "Hey, Turnbull. How ya doing?" 

The young man came to his feet with a quick grin. "Welcome to Canada, Ray. I'm doing quite well, thank you. It's good to see you again." 

"Ice Queen keeping you guys on your toes?" 

"We've all been quite busy preparing for the conference next week, but, frankly, I find all the activity quite invigorating." 

Ray glanced down the hallway at the closed door and frowned. "So where's Fraser?" 

Turnbull's happy expression faded slightly and he leaned in. "I'm afraid Inspector Thatcher has him in her office." 

"Because?" 

"She's not happy with the caterer. She's making some last minute changes for the opening ceremonies which are only a few days away." 

Ray bit back the word bitch. "It's not right to keep him cooped up all the damn day and then make him do overtime, too." 

"Duty doesn't punch a time clock, Ray. This is a very important conference. It wouldn't reflect well on any of us as representatives of Canada if it didn't go well. Constable Fraser shares the same commitment as the Inspector and myself to making sure that everything runs smoothly." 

"Well, yeah, but how much more can there be to do? You guys have been working on this shindig almost nonstop for two weeks." 

"You'd be surprised how tedious making detailed arrangements can be." 

Ray checked his watch impatiently. He'd wanted to pick up Fraser and head home, but it looked like that wouldn't be happening thanks to the witch his partner slaved for. "Any idea how much longer he'll be working?" 

Turnbull shook his head. "The Inspector just called for fresh tea, so I'm assuming it might be a bit longer." 

"Damn." Ray scratched his head and then shrugged. "Look, just tell Fraser I'm going home and to call me when he's done. I need to know what he wants to do for supper." 

"Certainly, Ray. I'll tell him." 

Turning to leave, Ray heard a scratching sound and a woofed plea from behind Fraser's closed office door. "Dief been stuck in there since this morning?" 

"I'm afraid so, yes." 

Shaking his head, Ray stepped to the door and opened it. Diefenbaker gratefully leaped out and danced around his legs, nudging at his palm to check for doughnuts. "Tell him I've got Dief, too. He won't mind." 

"I'm sure he won't. I'll tell him." 

Ray petted Dief. "Okay, okay, settle down." Disappointed at going home without Fraser, he looked over at Turnbull. "Guess we're leaving then." 

"Have a good day, Ray." 

"Sure. Thanks." As Ray walked to the door, he hesitated and then turned again with sudden inspiration. "Hey, Turnbull, you seeing anybody?" 

Startled by change of topic and the unexpected question, Turnbull blushed. "I'm sorry?" 

"I said, are you seeing anybody?" 

"Well, not socially, no." 

"You interested?" 

"In what, Ray?" 

"In a good-looking Italian." 

Flustered, Turnbull cleared his throat and tugged nervously at his collar. Ray grinned, thinking the kid was as bad as Fraser about romance. "Well, Ray, I'm very flattered, but..." 

Ray's grin faded in a hurry and he held up a hand. "Whoa, whoa, I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about Frannie." 

His face still pink, Turnbull relaxed. "Ah, Ms. Vecchio." 

"Yeah, you interested? I could fix you up. I've got connections." 

Stepping from behind his desk and over to stand near Ray, Turnbull asked, "Has she mentioned me specifically?" 

"No, but she's looking for a good guy to go out with. She's got a thing for Canadians, so I thought I'd see about hooking you two up." 

"Hooking us up?" 

"Yeah, playing matchmaker, being the go between, arranging a date. Seems a waste for two good-looking people not to give it a shot." 

"You think I'm good-looking?" 

"You're missing the point here, Turnbull. You want me to set you up or not?" 

"I don't know. I mean, I do, but that is to say, I'm not sure if it would be appropriate to" 

Ray raised a hand to stop the blithering. "Look, think about it. If you want to give it go, let me know." 

Turnbull stood straighter and nodded, his face very serious. "I most certainly will consider it, Ray. I've always found Ms. Vecchio to be very charming and intelligent. I just always assumed she was more attracted to Constable Fraser, regardless of how misguided that attraction might be." 

"But, see, here's the thing. Fraser likes her like a sister but he's like really protective and doesn't want to hurt her feelings." 

"Well, of course not. That goes without saying. Constable Fraser is an extremely decent and considerate man." 

"Exactly. So, I figure, if I can find her somebody like you, she'll lay off Fraser." 

"You expect me to be a substitute for Constable Fraser?" The big goof actually looked hurt. 

"What's to substitute? You're a great catch. She'd be lucky to get a guy like you." 

Turnbull's face perked up. "You really think so?" 

"Absolutely." 

"Thank you, Ray. I appreciate that. Would you be so kind as to see if Ms. Vecchio would be interested in accompanying me to the opening ceremonies of the Convention on Friday night?" 

"I'll ask her and if she gives the go ahead, I'll give you her number. Then you can set it up yourself. Okay?" 

"You'll let me know then?" 

"Sure thing." 

The phone rang and Turnbull moved to answer it as Ray waved good bye. Smiling to himself, he rubbed his hands together, hoping like hell he could sell Frannie on a big lug of a Canadian. He looked down at Dief who yipped testily beside him. "Come on, the guy's not that bad." 

Dief did a quick circle and then whined before heading down the steps to the car. "Well, yeah, he's not Fraser, but then who the hell is?" 

As Ray unlocked the door and let Dief climb in the front passenger seat, he shook his head. "I can't believe I'm talking to the wolf about this." 

The insulted bark brought his head up, bringing him eye-to-eye with the wolf. "No, I promise that I won't do it if she's not into it. Jeez. I like Frannie, too, you know." 

"Ray, who are you talking to?" 

Ray turned to see Fraser standing behind him, smiling in amusement. "You should know. He's your yappy wolf." 

"I wasn't aware you'd managed to break the communication barrier." 

"Well, it's either that or talk to myself and sound crazy, so I figured I'd talk to the wolf." Ray closed the door and left Dief staring smugly through the window. Ray turned and leaned back against the car, his arms crossed. "You through for the day? Turnbull said the Ice Queen had you stuck in a meeting." 

"I've got about another hour more if all goes well. I should have called you at the station and told you I was running later than expected." 

"A call would've been nice, but you working back by my side would be better." 

"We worked together just this morning." 

"I know. I'm greedy. I want you all the time." 

"It'll soon be resolved." Fraser tugged at his ear nervously and then lowered his voice. "I miss you terribly, Ray. Let me finish up here and then I'll meet you back at the apartment." 

"Then what?" 

Fraser's voice grew husky and his eyes darkened. "You decide." 

"Me, huh?" 

"I've thought about you all day." 

"Frisky Mountie." 

"Frustrated Mountie." 

Ray chuckled. "Well, get finished up here in a hurry and then get your ass home. I'll take a shower and get ready." 

"Ready, Ray?" 

"Yeah, I'm thinking rough and ready sounds good." 

Fraser closed his eyes briefly, his face flushed and his breathing a little more labored. "Ray, you have no idea how difficult it will be to go back inside and finish up with Inspector Thatcher in a professional manner with that image in my mind." 

"Hey, it's not my fault you came outside. I was just standing around minding my own business talking to the wolf." 

Fraser stepped closer, his face only a few inches from Ray's, his breath hot against Ray's skin. "I'll be home as soon as possible." 

"And I'll be waiting." 

Nodding, Fraser turned and walked away. He never touched Ray once, but Ray shuddered with anticipation, recognizing that special look, that flick of tongue and hungry expression. He swallowed hard and got into the car, Dief eagerly licking his cheek. 

* * *

Ray learned the first week they were together that if he showered with herbal-scented body gel he got from the Mall, that Ben sometimes gave him a special treat. It never occurred to Ray that having someone lick and tongue his ass with abandon would send him into orbit like crazy, but it did. Stella never even tried anything like that, never considered it. She expected Ray to go down on her, lick everything he could reach, but she never once got around to returning the favor. Not that she was a bad lover. It was never really bad with Stella. They'd fucked like bunnies at first and even in the last days of their marriage the sex remained hot, but it didn't come close to the sizzling heat he and Ben had going on, not even in the same ball park. 

Toweling off, Ray dried his hair, letting it stick up all over. He studied himself in the mirror as he stroked his whiskers. Lucky for him, Ben liked his stubble. Ray's facial hair didn't have the same texture as his partner's tough beard. Fraser could sand wood with his face after a day or two of letting it go, but Ray's beard got soft, almost silky. Ben got off on that, made Ray go without shaving all weekend so he could pet it. 

Ray slipped his hand down between his legs to comb his bush, smiling at the memory of Ben's fascination with his blond body hair, the way he played with it like a little kid with a new toy. Already hard, he stroked his own dick a few times. He groaned and wished like hell Ben would hurry. 

Tempted to get off just once before Ben got home, Ray stopped playing with himself and chose to wait. He wouldn't last long once they started, but the good thing about sleeping with Ben was that he didn't have to. Ben had the stamina to keep going, to make Ray come three or four times a night if he wanted and Ray definitely wanted. 

Ben, on the other hand, came only twice. The first time was usually after only a few minutes, but the second could take hours of just messing around, sucking and stroking, thrusting and just building up to an orgasm that would about knock him out. Ray loved that well-fucked, down-for-the-count look Ben got when he finally came that second time. Then Ben would fall into a deep sleep, a sleep so deep that it took Ray by surprise the first few times Ben stayed over. He never expected to have someone like Fraser, a man who once he let go, went for it all the way and trusted Ray enough to rest like that. 

Ray loved it. Ray loved Ben. He didn't mind saying it, either. He told Ben a lot more than he ever told Stella. He got the definite feeling that Ben hadn't had many people tell him that before, if ever. That pissed Ray off and made him all that more determined to make this work, to make sure that no matter what the obstacles, that Ben would always know Ray loved him. 

A rattle from the kitchen alerted him that Ben must have slipped in while he was in the shower. Wrapping a towel around himself, he smiled and headed out of the bathroom. He stopped short when he saw Ben bending over, digging around under the sink. God, what a great ass Ben had even in pumpkin pants. 

"Nice view." 

Ben stood up, holding a vase in one hand and a bouquet of fresh daisies in the other. "I passed a vendor on the way. I thought they were lovely." 

Ray stepped closer, took the flowers and vase out of his lover's hands, and put them on the table. "Thanks." Then Ray captured Ben's mouth with his own, probing deeply with his tongue as one hand worked Ben's collar and the other cupped his face. 

Ben pulled back, laughing. "Ray, Ray, Ray" 

Frustrated and horny, Ray opened Ben's collar and proceeded to work at the buttons. "What?" 

Grabbing Ray's hands with his own, Ben pinned them to his own chest. "Stop." 

Ray stilled. "What's wrong?" 

"Nothing's wrong. I just thought it'd save wear and tear on the uniform if I undressed myself." 

"Not in my book." 

"Ray, it took me an hour to sew on the buttons and repair the damage the last time you ripped the tunic and zipper." 

Ray grinned slyly. "Oh, yeah, I remember that. Worth every minute." 

Chuckling, Ben released Ray's hands, extended his arms, and gave a have-at-it gesture. Ray complied, once again ripping at the stubborn buttons of the uniform from hell. "Who designed these things anyway, a priest?" 

While Ray got to work, Ben cocked his head, the response automatic. "Well, of course not, Ray. It was designed by " 

"Shut up, Fraser. I don't care. Help me out here or you're going to have to buy another one before tomorrow." 

With the speed that comes from a lot of practice, Ben got himself undressed quickly, even managing to fold the tunic and pants without a wrinkle. Ray shook his head in amazement. "We need a video camera. People would pay to see this." 

"People would pay to see me disrobe?" 

"You bet." Ray's eyes darkened and his voice lowered. "But they're not going to get a chance, because I'm not sharing. You're all mine." 

Ben flushed. "Yes, I am, Ray." Ben reached out and pulled Ray closer, his nostrils flaring and his breathing quickened. He inhaled deeply at the side of Ray's neck and then stroked his damp hair. "You smell delicious." 

"Then it's only fair you get the first taste." 

Licking up the side of Ray's throat, Ben kissed Ray's cheek and whispered, "Bedroom. Now." 

"You got it." 

Ray took off in a hurry and Ben followed right behind him. At the bed, Ray pulled back the sheets and then moved one of the pillows to the center. He positioned himself over it, his ass in the air and his legs apart. Ray shuddered as the bed dipped, Ben's hands stroking the inside of his thighs before lovingly palming over his ass. Spreading Ray's cheeks, Ben then licked his hole several times before slipping a finger inside. Ray groaned, the sizzling sensation immediate, his cock throbbing. He trembled as Ben traded off using his finger and tongue, his whiskers brushing against sensitive skin. Ray cried out as a fingertip touched his prostate. Burying his face in a pillow, Ray moaned and begged for more. Ben obliged, eating him with even more vigor. Ray's body rocked desperately, finally bucking as a blast of pleasure whipped up through his spine, his cock exploding. 

Ray couldn't stop coming, Ben still working his ass, pushing harder and harder, finally adding gel to Ray's hole. Lights blasted behind closed lids as Ray lost all thoughts of breathing and needing to breathe anytime in the near future. Between his legs, Ben shifted and lifted up over him, kissing the back of his neck. "I love you, Ray." 

Words failed him, the air too thin, sensations riding all through his trembling body. Still floating with the rush and tingle, he grunted as Ben's thick cock worked its way inside. He closed his eyes, his heart pounding in his ears as Ben shoved into him, thrusting roughly until he buried himself. A few seconds later, Ben fucked him the way Ray loved to be fucked sometimes, the way he'd finally convinced Ben to try, fucking deep, fast, and as hard as he could manage. The whole bed rocked and the headboard drummed against the wall with the brutal rhythm. 

Ray bit into the sheets to keep from screaming as Ben grunted with his own release, jerking several times before slumping over Ray's back, dead weight. Sweat cooled between them and Ray managed a breathy, "Love you, Ben." 

Ben's hand cupped the back of Ray's head, his fingers spread. "And I you, Ray." After a few moments, Ben shifted and withdrew, slipping backwards, his knees still positioned between Ray's spread legs. He kissed Ray's sore ass and then shifted to lie beside him. Pulling Ray into his arms, he covered them both with a sheet. "You really are quite remarkable, Ray." 

"You're not so bad yourself." 

"Thank you kindly." 

"Don't mention it." 

The arm squeezed tighter. "I didn't hurt you?" 

Here it came, the guilt that always followed Ben's pleasure. "No, you didn't hurt me." 

"I worry." 

"I know you do. Don't. I like it like that. I told you." 

"Yes, you did, but still " 

"You keep asking." 

"I'm sorry." 

"Don't be." Ray turned and faced Ben, his hand palmed over his lover's heart. "It feels great. We both like it rough. There's nothing wrong with that." 

"I didn't mean to imply that there was something inherently wrong or inappropriate, Ray. It's just I don't always have full control." 

"That's the point. Making love isn't about control. It's about cutting loose, letting yourself go when you can't any other time. I love that you trust me like that, that you can just do it without worrying about anything else." 

Ben captured Ray's hand and brought it to his lips for a brief kiss. "But lovemaking is also about satisfying the other person. It gives me great pleasure to please you." 

"You please me like nobody's business." 

"And you please me as well." 

Ray settled back and nuzzled Ben's neck. "I can't believe I used to complain about where you put your mouth. Who knew being a freak would be such a turn on?" Ben didn't answer, just held him a little tighter. After a few moments, Ray lifted his head and frowned at Ben's sad expression. "What?" 

"It's nothing." 

"It's not nothing. You look like I popped you. What's wrong?" 

Ben closed his eyes and then sighed deeply, the confession obviously hard for him to share. "I've never had anyone accept me so completely. It's sometimes a bit overwhelming, and to be quite honest, frightening." 

"Frightening?" Shifting upward, Ray swallowed hard, understanding dawning. "It's bad enough nobody's ever made you feel that safe before, but you think it's too good, that what we've got is way too good for you and that it's all going to blow up in your face. You think that if you open yourself up enough, let down your guard, that life's going to come along and slap you down, right?" 

"I wouldn't put it in quite those terms, but essentially, yes, I suppose that's true." Ben caressed Ray's cheek and smiled. "It's just difficult for me to truly believe how fortunate I am to have you and not worry about what would happen if I lost you." 

"You're not going to lose me." 

"I know you believe that, Ray, and I want to believe that as well. However, we both know things happen. Life has a way of giving us what we want most before gutting us with misfortune." 

Ray shook his head before leaning in to kiss Ben deeply. He pulled back and whispered, "You've been fucked over, Ben. I get that. You can't let it twist you up so bad that you can't enjoy what you've got when you've got it. I learned a long time ago that you've just got to take what you've got and be happy with that. If you don't, you get down and do stupid shit. You get lonely and desperate, and, well, you don't want to bother hanging in there. Been there, done that with Stella." Ray took a deep breath and then continued with even more energy. "But sometimes, if you're lucky, what you end up with is even better than you could've ever hoped for. That's how I feel about you, that I got the winning ticket at the Derby, won the lottery, and locked up every scumbag in Chicago all rolled up into one. It's all greatness." 

Ben didn't speak for a moment, but studied Ray's face as if he were memorizing an essential point of reference. Finally, he rested his forehead against Ray's. "Thank you." 

"For what?" 

"For loving me despite my shortcomings." 

"You do the same for me, right?" 

"Absolutely." 

Ray lifted Ben's face and kissed him again before slipping his hand down to his partner's chest. Pushing him on his back, Ray straddled Ben's hips and smiled. "My turn." 

"My God, Ray, you're insatiable." 

"If that means greedy, oh, yeah." 

* * *

The bounce in his step kept Ray smiling all the way to the station. He let his good humor spread by putting his scheme to protect Ben's honor in motion. "Hey, Frannie, busy?" 

"Why?" 

"How about coffee? I'm buying." 

Francesca turned from her desk, her arms full of folders, her face clouded with suspicion. "What vile and disgusting thing are you up to?" 

Ray grabbed his chest and feigned catching a bullet. "Can't a big brother get his little sister a coffee?" 

"Not when he's you. Now, what gives?" 

Ray sat on the edge of her desk, doing his best at casual. "Look, I've got this friend, this really shy Canadian friend, who wants to ask you out." 

Dropping the folders to her desk, she leaned in, her face bright and her voice breathless with anticipation. "Fraser wants to ask me out?" 

"No, not Fraser, Turnbull." 

Frannie stood up straight, not happy. "The blond guy, the dumb one?" 

"He's not dumb, Frannie. He's just different. You know Canadians. They don't think the same as me and you." 

"Turnbull doesn't think, period." 

"But he's polite, not bad to look at, and wait for it." 

"Wait for what?" 

"He likes you." 

Her hard, disappointed expression softened. "Likes me? How do you know?" 

"'Cause he told me. Said he thought you were charming and intelligent. His exact words, Frannie, honest." 

"He said that?" 

"He did." Ray crossed his heart and held up his fingers. "Scout's honor." 

"You were never a scout, Ray." 

"But I knew a lot of 'em, so that makes me whatchacallit, honorary or something." Ray turned up the heat. "Look, I'm serious. He wants you to go with him to this big deal ceremony for this convention they're planning on Friday. There's free food, lots of music, and more diplomats than you can shake a stick at. It'll be fun." 

"Will Fraser be there?" 

Ray sighed, knowing full well what was coming. "Yeah." 

"Does he have a date?" 

"Sort of." 

"What's that mean, sort of? He's either got a date or he doesn't." 

"He's got me." 

"You?" 

"Well, I'm sort of going with him to help out with security." 

Frannie crossed her arms and frowned. "You're going with him? All dressed up and everything?" 

"Yeah. So? I am his partner." 

"So, let me get this straight, he's not taking a date, but he is taking you." It wasn't a question, more like Frannie trying to figure out a screwy jigsaw puzzle with only a smashed up picture to go by. 

"Listen, should I give Turnbull your number or not? He's really a nice guy once you get to know him. You two might hit it off. Stranger things have happened." 

"You've got that right." Frannie didn't look up, didn't meet his eyes, but shrugged. "Sure. I could use a night out. Tell him to call and we'll talk." 

On impulse, Ray leaned in and kissed her cheek. "Thanks, Sis. I owe you one." 

She pushed him away playfully and wiped her cheek with a grin. "Cut it out, Ray. Hit the alleys or something." 

"You mean, hit the streets?" 

"Streets, alleys, what's the difference? They're littered with scumbags." 

"Good point." 

"Get going." Ray stood up and walked away only to hear her voice call to him. "And tell Fraser hi when you see him." 

"Sure thing, Frannie." Ray hit the double doors and headed out into the hallway, whistling to himself and wishing the day away so he could finally be with Fraser for their anniversary. 

* * *

Walking into his apartment, Ray shut the door and leaned back against the wall, exhausted. He rubbed his face with both hands, every year and rough day of his life checking in all at once, making even his bones hurt. What a shitty day it turned out to be, a seriously lousy, no good day. Not a single case got solved, not a single son of a bitch got locked up. The cheese-for-brains DA even refused to file on the Corelli case. Bastard was going to fucking walk because dickhead said they didn't have enough solid evidence, that Corelli had alibis out the whazoo, alibis bought and paid for with drug money and selling fourteen-year-old kids in the streets. Score one for the bad guys. 

Ray had to face facts, working without a net, doing the job without Fraser, wore his skinny ass out. His shoulders ached from the tension, his muscles still too tight under his own skin. He only wanted to be home with Ben, the sooner the better. 

Opening his eyes, Ray looked around in disappointment. No wanton Mountie greeted him with a kiss to die for. Who knew Fraser had a mouth that could do the things he did, could make Ray shiver all over and forget everything else in the whole wide world existed? Ray shuddered at just the memory of the Mountie kisses Ben gave him every chance he got. Jesus, he was stuck on the guy big time. Go figure. 

Ray shook his head several times to clear it and then shrugged off his black leather jacket before heading to the shower. If Ben ran late, Ray would take advantage of that and get dolled up, make himself ready for their special night out. Stowing away his gun and holster first, he pulled off his sweat shirt and then walked to the closet. He laid out his grey suit on the bed along with his red tie and best shirt. Ray smiled at the memory of the last time he wore that suit, how Ben frantically worked to get the pants off, but how he got Ray off instead. Thank God for dry cleaning. 

Still thinking of Ben, he walked back to the closet and at the very back, found the package he'd squirreled away earlier. He took it out and put it on the bureau. Fraser wasn't the only one who remembered special dates and did the romantic routine. Ray liked that sort of thing, too. He straightened the red serge bow and then headed off to the shower, hoping Ben didn't stay too late at the Consulate. 

Ray let the hot water soothe away his fatigue, forcing away the anger and frustration that came with being a cop, the stink of bad people making his head swim sometimes. He pushed all that away, focusing his thoughts back to Fraser. He imagined Ben's hands running along his back, between his thighs, cupping his face as he smothered Ray with feverish kisses. God, that clever tongue drove him crazy. Using his soapy right hand, Ray finished himself off quickly, coming hard, his forehead leaning against the cool tile. He needed the relief, the flash of pleasure that made his body tingle all over and his cock happy. He climbed out of the shower, grabbing a towel and feeling a lot better than he had a few minutes ago. 

Humming to himself, he walked into the bedroom to find Ben sitting on the bed, his knowing face full of amusement. "Hi, Ray." 

Ray moved to the side of the bed and leaned over, kissing his partner soundly before pulling back. "How long you been home?" 

"Long enough to appreciate how much you truly enjoyed your shower." 

Flushing pink, Ray smirked. "I would've enjoyed it more if you'd joined me." 

"I think it goes without saying that we both would've enjoyed it immensely, Ray." 

"Not too late. I can shower again, no problem." 

Still wearing his uniform, but not his hat, Ben leaned back against the headboard, his hands folded in his lap. "As much as that salacious invitation appeals to me, I'm afraid we don't have time. We have reservations at eight o'clock. If we're going to have enough time to properly enjoy the exhibit, we need to leave very soon. You should get dressed." 

"And you want to watch?" 

Ben licked his lower lip. "I enjoy watching you, Ray. Dressing, undressing, the intimacy of it appeals to me." 

Ray laughed quietly and then pulled off the towel, flicking the bed close to Ben's side. "You're easy, you know that?" 

"On the contrary, most people find me difficult. Ray Vecchio used to say I was the most irritating man on the planet." 

"Which you are sometimes, but forget about Vecchio. I don't want to hear about him tonight." Ray slipped on his boxers and then his pants. He sat on the edge of the bed to put on his socks and dress shoes. 

"Does my talking about Ray bother you?" 

"Yeah, sometimes." 

"Why?" 

"Did I not just say I don't want to talk about him tonight?" 

"So you did." Ben hesitated, but Ray knew it wouldn't last. "But, Ray, why would it bother you?" 

Ray dropped his face to his right hand, shutting his eyes tightly as he fought to keep calm. "Look, you know how you asked me not to talk about Stella so much?" 

"Are you suggesting that " 

"I'm suggesting that you don't like to hear about my life with Stella and I feel the same way about you and him. That's all I'm saying." 

"Ah." 

Ray turned and studied Ben's puzzled expression. "Ah, what? Ah as in you understand or ah as in you don't have a clue?" 

"Well, to be quite honest, I'm not sure I do understand." 

Standing up, Ray slipped on his grey silk shirt and buttoned it while he tried to think of a way to say what he needed to say without it blowing up in his face. "Look, let me ask you this. What bugs you so much about hearing the name Stella?" 

Ben rubbed his eyebrow nervously. "It's hard to explain." 

"Do you think it's because you're a little bit jealous of how I had a life with her before you?" 

"Jealous?" 

"Yeah, jealous. You know, that whole envious, green-eyed monster thing?" 

"I wouldn't use that word, exactly." 

"What word would you use?" 

"Well, I can't think of one at the moment." 

"That's because jealousy messes with your head, won't let your mighty Mountie brain cells work right." 

"Don't be silly, Ray. My thinking is perfectly sound and I am not jealous of your life with Stella. I realize that you had a life before me." 

"And you had one before me, too, with Vecchio." 

Ben shook his head, frowning. "It's hardly the same thing at all, Ray. Ray Vecchio and I were never together like you and Stella." 

"You might not have shared a bed, Ben, but you were tight with the guy, tighter than tight. I know that and you know that. I don't mean to be green-eyed crazy about it, but I can't help but feel a little ticked every time you mention the son of a bitch, especially when I know he's coming back to take back his life at the 2-7." 

Ben stared at him in amazement, his mouth slightly open. "I can't believe you're jealous of Ray Vecchio." 

Ray picked up his red tie, a tie the same brilliant color as Ben's uniform, and put it around his neck. "Believe it. Now, shut up and get over here and fix this thing before I strangle myself." 

Ben followed the pissy command without protest, taking his time to perfectly make the knot around Ray's neck. As he tightened it and then checked the final length, he met Ray's eyes with a warm smile. Palming his hand over Ray's heart, he whispered, "I love you, Ray." 

"I love you, too, Ben." After a brief kiss, Ray reached over and handed Ben his present. "Here. I got you something." 

Ben tilted his head, studying it before he lifted it to his ear to shake it. "For me?" Then he sniffed it carefully at the edges. 

Ray cracked a smile. "You want to lick it, too?" 

Ben kept his eyes on the package and shook his head, not the least bit convincing about not being tempted to taste that puppy. "Of course not." He still didn't open it, but looked up at Ray. "What is it?" 

"Open it and see." 

Not hesitating, Ben followed the folds with his finger and opened it carefully without tearing the paper. Ray picked up his jacket as he watched his partner finally open the box and discover the contents. 

"Oh, dear." Ben pulled out the three pairs of silky knit boxer briefs, one each of blue, black, and red, his face flushed a dark pink color. "I've never worn anything like this before, that is to say, I've only ever worn standard issue." 

"Yeah, I know, itchy ass wool or baggy cotton. As sexy as those are, Ben, I really thought you might like a change." 

Rubbing his fingers across the fabric, his eyes wide with a growing wonder, Fraser whispered, "You want me to wear these?" 

"Not all at once, no." Ray sighed and then caressed Ben's cheek. "Wear a pair if you want. I just thought they'd be a nice change from the scratchy stuff." Ray leaned in, his lips right next to Ben's ear. "Besides, the idea of your fine ass tucked up snug and tight in one of those makes my mouth water." 

Breathing a little faster, a fine line of sweat dotting his upper lip, Ben nodded. "Understood." He pulled back slightly. "Should I put on a pair now?" 

"You want?" 

"I want very much." 

"Then get out of those pumpkin pants and give a guy a show." 

Ben obliged, stripping down and getting out of his old underwear quickly. Ray noted the beginnings of Ben's erection with a smile. Pulling on the black pair, Ben grinned, pleased with the result. "They're wonderful, Ray, so soft and " 

"Silky?" 

"Yes, silky. How delightful. I don't think I've ever felt anything quite like this." 

Ray captured Ben's hand before he could reach for the uniform pants to redress. He used his other hand to stroke his lover through the thin material, the growing cock throbbing and hot against his skin. "You're sexy as hell, you know that?" 

"Ray, the museum." 

"Will be there tomorrow." 

Ben closed his eyes, his head dropping to Ray's shoulder in surrender. "Indeed it will." 

Still rubbing Ben's cock, Ray teased. "I mean, we can get you dressed again in no time flat if that's what you really want, Ben. I'm sure looking at sticks and stones and all kinds of cool Eskimo stuff can be just as good as this." 

"Ray, Ray, Ray" 

"What?" 

Ben moaned in pleasure, his eyes squeezed shut as he shoved against the strength of Ray's hand. "You planned this." 

"Oh, yeah. I call it the Kowalski appetizer." Ray nibbled at Ben's ear, his lover groaning against him. Taking his time, licking all the right spots, Ray eased Ben back enough to get the tunic and other clothes off, all except the new briefs. Those he left on, those he wanted to enjoy as Ben's cock stretched the smooth fabric to its limits. 

Ray pushed his nearly naked partner back on the bed and then proceeded to strip himself in a hurry. Once nude, he shoved Ben's legs apart and kneeled between them, lowering his face to Ben's to kiss him thoroughly and completely. Ben met his every move with great fervor, with the same lust and craving that surged with every touch, with every caress. Stretching out and lowering his body over Ben's, he lined up his own cock against his partner's with only the silky knit between them. Thrusting and rocking against Ben, Ray closed his eyes, his own lungs begging for air. 

Ray set up a rhythm to match Ben's, gasping out a few precious words. "God, I love you so much." 

Ben groaned, shuddering with release. Ray shoved a few more times to catch up, the blast of color behind his eyes joining the spasm of pleasure shooting all through his cock, bending his spine. Ray jerked with coming and then stayed still, Ben's arms now wrapped around his waist to steady him. His head dropped to Ben's chest as he struggled to breathe, his heart pounding harder than ever. Ray's whole body tingled with pure glee as he soaked in the richness of it all, relished the overwhelming comfort of those arms and that body beneath him. 

"Dear Lord, Ray." 

"Yeah, me, too." 

After a few more seconds, Ray shifted over to the side, the sweat cooling quickly, his crotch sticky. Ben's hand captured his and brought it to his lips, kissing each finger gently before whispering, "I love you, too, Ray. Happy anniversary." 

"And many more to come." 

"Agreed." After a few moments, Ben chuckled. 

"What?" 

"I'm afraid the briefs are ruined." 

"Naw, the label says they're hand washable. Besides, you've got two more pair." Ray rolled on his side and smiled. "Wear the red pair under your uniform while we go to eat." 

"Why the red pair?" 

"Because I want to imagine how good they're going to feel when I feel you up when we get home later." 

Ben's already flushed face darkened even more. "Ray, you're such a sensualist." 

"If that means I like thinking about your great ass as dessert, then, oh, yeah, that's me." Sighing deeply, Ben leaned in, his face resting against Ray's chest. He inhaled deeply and then sighed again. Ray cupped the back of Ben's head, the sweat damp hair lush and thick against his fingers, and asked huskily, "What?" 

"I love the way you smell." 

"Even when I stink like sex?" 

"Especially when you smell like sex." 

"Now who's the sin whatever?" 

"Sensualist. I must admit that since we started our relationship, that aspect of my nature has manifested itself more often than not and certainly more often than in the past." 

"Which translated means you like having sex." 

"I like having sex with you." 

"And thinking about sex." 

"With you, yes. That goes without saying." 

Ray smiled with approval. "Same here. Nothing wrong with that." 

"I know there's nothing inherently wrong with my sexual desires, Ray. It's just I've never quite had the opportunity or the wherewithal to really allow myself to fully appreciate what a powerfully enriching force it can be in one's life." 

"Huh?" 

"You make my life special, Ray." 

"Good. You do the same for me." Ray leaned over and caressed Ben's cheek as he kissed him, his tongue sweeping the lower lip before pulling back just a little bit. "It's never been this good, Ben, never." 

Ben's expression darkened. "Not even with Stella?" 

Conviction steeled each word. "Not even in the beginning, not ever." 

Sitting up, his hand palmed over Ray's heart, Ben nodded. He pushed Ray to his back and then got up enough to straddle his middle. "I love you, Ray Kowalski." 

Taking both of Ben's hands, Ray laced their fingers together as he braced his lover's outstretched arms. His gaze never left Ben's. "I know, and I love you." 

Ben leaned down, kissing him, his tongue forceful and possessive. Then he sat up. "I want to take you out, Ray, to feed you and then bring you back home to ravish you mightily." 

"Ravish, huh?" 

"Mightily." 

Ray smirked, loving the weight of his lover over his own. "You want to wine and dine me first though, right?" 

"Do you want to be wined and dined, Ray?" 

"It's weird, but, yeah, I'd like that." 

"Why is that weird?" 

"I don't know. I guess because in the past I've always been the one doing the wining and dining." 

"Do you feel emasculated by my wanting to treat you to something special?" 

"Emascuwhatsits?" 

"Do you feel less masculine, less of a man, as it were, because I want to take you out in the traditional fashion." 

Chuckling, Ray shook his head. "Do I feel girlie because Mr. Thrifty Boots wants to pick up the tab? Not likely." 

"Mr. Thrifty Boots?" 

"Yeah, the guy who counts his change, the guy who knows where every Canadian dime is spent, the guy I live with who actually keeps all his receipts by date." 

Ben frowned, his voice suddenly tighter. "There's nothing wrong with keeping accurate financial records, Ray." 

As Ben pulled away, Ray held on and urged him down for another kiss. "You're right, there's not. I was just teasing you, you freak." 

Relaxing, Ben nodded and then shrugged. "I suppose I get a little defensive because others seem to find my meticulous nature somewhat annoying at times." 

"Yeah, well, somebody in the family has to have a head for money. It sure as hell ain't me." 

Ben smirked at the fact, but kept quiet. Ray patted Ben's cheek with his right hand and lifted his hips. "We need to get cleaned up and dressed if we're going to make this thing happen." 

"What thing, Ray?" 

"This thing, this special dinner thing." 

"Ah, that thing." 

Ben shifted off Ray and then settled on the edge of the bed. "You're quite right. You should shower first and I'll wash out the briefs." 

Ray stroked a hand up and down Ben's back. "You don't want to shower together?" 

"Not if we actually want to make the reservation, Ray." 

"Good point." 

Ray climbed out of bed, his body still sluggish from good sex and lots of quality Ben time. "So, where are you taking me?" 

Ben shook his head stubbornly. "It's a surprise." 

Suddenly more curious, Ray persisted. "How can I drive to some place I don't know?" 

"That's not a problem, Ray." 

"Huh? Why not?" 

"Because I'm driving." 

Ray shook his head. "No way. I'm driving." 

Ben stepped closer, his hand on Ray's shoulder. "Trust me, Ray. I'm driving tonight." 

Ray's temporary resistance melted away, knowing full well from the tone of his lover's voice, Ben meant that he was going to drive more than Ray's car. "You are, huh?" 

"Oh, yes. I think you'll be pleased. Now, if you don't mind, you need to get cleaned up while I wash these." Without modesty, Ben stripped off his messy silk briefs and headed to the bathroom. Ray closed his eyes, the image of Fraser's fine ass burned into his memory, and prayed to God that he wouldn't embarrass himself in public before the night was over. 

* * *

"Swank, very swank." Ray shook his head at the posh surroundings and leaned over to whisper. "You bring the bank to cover this?" 

Ben patted his hat resting on the seat beside him at the table, the inner lining stuffed with neatly folded bills. "Indeed, Ray." 

"Because I don't want to spend the next ten years washing dishes." 

"No need to worry, Ray. It's on me, as it were." 

"Well, you might need two hats with these prices." Shifting uneasily in his chair, Ray frowned at the menu. "Listen, we don't have to spend this much for one meal." 

"Ray, relax. It's our anniversary. I assure you I have adequate funds for the occasion." 

"Still, it just seems like highway robbery to charge these prices for pasta." 

"Oh, it's more than pasta, Ray. The food here is quite authentic and delicious." 

"You've been here before?" 

"Once." Fraser stared at him, the candlelight flickering, the soft romantic music in the background. "I came here once before and enjoyed it tremendously. I wanted to share the experience with you." 

Ray played with the edge of the menu, almost afraid to ask the next question. He hesitated, but he couldn't stop himself, just had to know. "You come here with Vecchio?" 

"No, Ray, I didn't come with Ray Vecchio. I escorted the Canadian Secretary of State." 

Ray's jaw dropped open in surprise and dismay. "You dated the Canadian Secretary of State?" 

Patiently, Ben shook his head with a small smile. "It was a business dinner, Ray. But I did enjoy the meal, so much so that I decided you might like it as well. I know how much you love Italian food." 

Relieved and slightly embarrassed by his own jealous streak, Ray cleared his throat. "Okay, then, you're saying I'm the first date you've brought here." 

"You're more than a date, Ray, much more." 

Ray met Ben's intense gaze and flushed. "Even when I act like an ass?" 

"Even then, yes." 

"Okay, okay, so what's good?" 

"There are variety of fine dishes, Ray." 

"But they're listed in Italian. I recognize ravioli and that's about it." 

"Ah, well, if you'll permit me, I could order for us both." 

"Sure, okay, just no squid or octopus or anything gross like that." 

"Understood. Would you like wine? I recommend a nice Merlot or you might prefer beer." 

"You expect me to drink alone?" 

"I want you to enjoy yourself fully. I don't expect you to abstain on my account." 

Ray nodded in agreement and then smiled at the memory of their earlier conversation. "Wine and dine, huh?" 

"Exactly." 

"Then wine it is, but I swear, the prices here are crazy. I could get a whole bottle for what they want for one glass of this stuff." 

Amused, Ben sniffed at the irony. "Thrifty Boots, indeed." 

"Hey, I can be thrifty. Comes from being an underpaid cop." 

"This is a celebration, Ray. I'm not concerned about the money. However, if it makes you so uncomfortable, we can leave. We haven't actually ordered yet." 

Some part of him wanted to do just that, to take off and just get a pizza. The other part felt flattered as hell. Ray didn't want to spoil this, not after Ben went to so much trouble to plan it. "After you let that guy park the car already? Forget about it. Let's eat." 

"Right you are then." 

Ray sat back and watched Ben in action, his smooth and perfect delivery of the Italian dishes as he ordered a real experience. It was pretty amazing considering they were words Ray couldn't begin to get his mouth around. Ray marveled at how Ben fit in so well, how he just seemed so at home when Ray knew for a fact that the wide open spaces of the Territories suited him far better than some ritzy joint like this. 

Once the wine arrived, Ray sniffed and nodded his approval for the waiter to serve. After they were alone again, Ray sipped his drink, the strong, dry flavor burning his throat, as he watched Ben testing out his tea. "You know, you could drink once in a while. It's not like it would break any big Mountie code or anything." 

Ben didn't look up, but stirred his tea. "No, Ray, I couldn't." 

The conviction of the words surprised him. "Why not?" 

"I choose not to." 

"But why?" 

Ben put down his spoon and sat back, his eyes on Ray. "It's a long story, Ray, and I'd rather not talk about it here." 

Ray studied the serious face for a moment, the string of sober Ben facts niggling, the conclusion clicking into place. "Something tells me I'm not going to like this story very much, probably even less than the caribou tales, right?" 

"Caribou tales, Ray?" 

"Yeah, you know, about how a dead caribou is hallucinogenic after seventy-two hours, how the caribou stay strong when the wolf eats all the weak ones, how the caribou make the world go round. You know, caribou tales." 

"I wasn't aware you kept track of the stories, Ray." 

"You're doing that thing you do, that deflecting thing. Quit it. This is me, your partner, your best friend." 

"Yes, I know. I'm sorry." 

"Don't be. Just tell me this long story you're going to tell me later isn't going to make me punch a wall." 

"I can't really promise you that." 

Ray bit back profanities and then leaned in closer, keeping his voice low. "You never said you had a problem before. How come?" 

"It's not really a problem per se, Ray, more a conscious decision I've made to avoid the ingestion of alcohol unless it's the obligatory toast to the queen." 

Ray picked up his drink and then put it back down, pushing the glass away slightly. "Okay, okay, I can respect that." 

"Ray, you don't have to stop on my account." 

"I know that." 

"Good, because I don't want you to think I disapprove of drinking in general or on principle, because that's not the case. However, I must say that overall, drinking alcohol does seem to cause rather more harm than good." 

"In excess, yeah." 

"True. Moderation is rather the key." 

"You going to tell me the long story when we get home?" 

"If you wish." 

"I wish." 

"Then, yes, I'll tell you." 

"That's settled then. Let's just enjoy the meal and talk about this later." 

"An excellent plan, Ray." 

Getting back to the moment at hand, Ray changed the subject. "What are you going to do to top this when we reach a year?" 

Ben's voice softened, his gaze never leaving Ray's face. "I want to take you to Canada." 

Shocked, but pleased at the same time, Ray grinned. "Canada? You want to take me to Canada?" 

"Yes, Ray, I'd like very much to show you my home there." 

"You mean that cabin up north?" 

"Well, a lean-to really, but I thought perhaps we could start building something together." 

"So you're not just talking about a little visit, some sight-seeing trip, some trek to see the wide open spaces?" 

"I've accumulated quite a few personal days, Ray, as have you." 

"Because we're both workaholics." 

"Agreed, and I thought perhaps you might consider the possibility of" 

"Going for a test run to Freezerland?" 

"Something like that, yes." 

Ray watched as Ben nervously stroked his right eyebrow before tugging at his ear. It made Ray tingle all over thinking about Ben dreaming this up, making plans about their future. Still, he hesitated to jump into the snow bank with both feet just yet. "What about being a cop? How could I do that up there?" 

Sitting back, obviously disappointed at his response, Ben shook his head. "I understand, Ray. I didn't mean to suggest that you give up your life here. I shouldn't have presumed you'd be interested in such a drastic change to your life." 

"Idiot." 

"Agreed. I should " 

"Shut up and listen." Startled, Ben hushed. Ray leaned in, not wanting to give the whole restaurant a show. "Look, I made the drastic change in my life when I hooked up with you. Where you go, I go. No if, ands, or buts. An igloo on Polar Bear Lane or an apartment here, it doesn't matter." 

"But, Ray, I can't ask you to give up your life here." 

"Why not?" 

"You love being a police officer." 

"I love you more." Before Ben argued, Ray shushed and waved a hand. "Look, I love the idea of you planning for us like that, thinking of us up north together. It just took me by surprise, that's all." 

"I see." 

"Do you, Ben? Do you really see what I'm saying here?" 

Ben swallowed hard and nodded, his eyes brighter than usual in the candlelight. "Yes, Ray, I do." 

"Good, because I'm good to go. Book me a trip to Canada today or a year from now, it makes no difference to me as long as we're together. Got that?" 

Sighing, Ben wet his lower lip and struggled to keep his voice even. "You'd do that for me?" 

"I'd do that for myself, for us." 

"But for me?" 

"Yeah, well, last time I checked you were part of us." 

"So I am." 

"Good, now that's settled, tell me about this cabin/lean-to you want to drag me off to." 

As their salads arrived, Ben proceeded to do just that, the enthusiasm and love in his words contagious. Ray could picture the great expanse of tundra, the mountains and forest streams, the majestic moose and the elk just as Ben described them, rich and lush and so much a part of his partner that Ray couldn't imagine Ben living any other place for very long. He wanted to go home and pack, to move tomorrow, to leave all the worries about Vecchio's return, about his life as an undercover street cop, behind. He thrilled at the idea that someday that dream might come true, that he'd live his life forever with Ben Fraser. To share that love and vision, that gift was by far the best anniversary present ever. 

* * *

Ray flopped down and stretched out on the sofa, still wearing his dress coat, his body relaxed and his belly full. "Man, Italians have it made when it comes to food." 

"I could see that you truly appreciate the cuisine, Ray." 

"If that means, I ate like a pig and enjoyed it, you bet. Oink, oink." 

Ben chuckled and Ray wallowed in the glory of that too rare sound. He closed his eyes and sighed, not wanting the moment to change, not wanting to really spoil the evening. Still, he had that long story coming, something he didn't want to put off, something his cop self couldn't put off. He needed to hear it and from the looks of things, Ben needed to spill it. 

Suddenly more sober, Ray swung his legs off the sofa and sat up. He stood long enough to take off his coat and hand it over to Ben. He loosened his tie and waited until Ben settled beside him, an arm draping over his shoulders. Ray met Ben's mouth with his own, tasting the sharp mix of oregano and lemon along with just a hint of tea. As he pulled back, he met smoky blue eyes, hungry eyes. "Ben, you owe me a story." 

"Ray, your timing is atrocious." 

"Yeah, I know, but you know me, if there's a mystery, I have to get the lowdown before there's any action." 

Reluctantly, Ben nodded and pulled back. He didn't look up, wouldn't meet Ray's eyes as his voice tensed. "Understood. I'd like to fix some tea first. Would you like some coffee?" 

"You think I need some coffee?" 

"Perhaps." 

"Coffee's good then." 

Ray remained seated, his arms stretched across the back of the couch as he watched Ben busy himself with making the drinks, obviously gathering his thoughts, getting himself ready. Ray noted the tensing of the shoulders, the straight back, the throat clearing and got even more worried. Whatever this thing was, it wouldn't be easy for Ben to tell. 

Tempted to drop it, to just go into the kitchen and drag Ben off to bed, Ray forced himself to sit still. He gave Ben the space he needed and just waited, hoping like hell it wasn't as bad as he thought. 

After several long minutes, Ben brought back a fresh cup of coffee and his own tea. He handed the coffee to Ray and then sat down in the chair instead of the sofa. After a few sips, he put his own cup down on the coffee table and spoke quietly. "It happened some time ago." 

"What?" 

Ben closed his eyes and pinched his nose. "Ray, please. I need to tell you this, but I must confess that I'm having more difficulty than I imagined." 

"And it'd be easier if I'd just shut my trap and let you tell it, right?" 

"Something like that." 

"Sure, okay. Go." 

Tugging his ear, still not looking directly at Ray, Ben continued. "I never had any real exposure to drinking. My grandparents never approved of it and never used spirits. Even as a teenager, when the other teens would gain access to beer and other alcoholic beverages, I'd keep to my grandmother's counsel and refuse. It wasn't until I went to the Depot that I first had a drink." 

Ben paused, cleared his throat, and took a deep breath. "Being inexperienced, I made mistakes, serious ones. I met a young man there named Steve. We had a connection, something I couldn't explain. All my life, I felt like an outsider. Steve seemed to understand that. We became close friends, very close." 

Ray's hands clenched into fists, not liking the direction of the story at all. Still, he remained silent, his patience tested. Finally Ben looked up and met Ray's gaze. "You understand what I'm saying, Ray?" 

"You're saying this guy Steve was your first boyfriend?" 

"Does that bother you?" 

"Sure, but I knew I wasn't the first guy you'd ever been with. What I'm waiting for is to find out how this guy fucked you over." 

Ben didn't even flinch at the profanity. Instead, he sighed. Damn. 

"Well, he didn't do anything I didn't allow, Ray, if that's what you're thinking. It's just that there were things, extremely intimate things, that we did that we might not have done if I'd been sober at the time." 

"Are you saying this guy got you drunk first and then took advantage?" 

"I'm saying I drank more than I should have on several occasions and that adversely affected my judgment." Ben's voice choked slightly. "There were times when I tried to convince myself that it was fine and appropriate that we made love in such a fashion, both of us inebriated, both taking chances at being discovered, but failed. At one point, after a rather seriously debauched episode, I decided we needed to change our behavior." 

"And let me guess, Steve didn't want to go along." 

"He thought I was being melodramatic, that the drinking wasn't the problem. He said the problem was that I was repressed. I had to admit that his argument had a certain amount of merit considering my sexual experience to that point consisted entirely of autoerotic sessions and my relationship with him." 

"Autoerotic? You fucked in the car?" 

Ben's lips twisted into a small smile. "No, Ray, I was referring to masturbation." 

"Really? It's called that?" 

"Really." 

"Wow. Okay, so, you're saying that other than jerking off, this Steve guy was not only the first guy, but the first anybody?" 

"That's what I'm saying, yes." 

"And he could only do it drunk?" 

"He wasn't drinking alone, Ray." 

"I get that. You're saying you two would both get plastered and then do it. Then you'd wake up and feel guilty, but that he thought it was all hunky dory. Then when you tried to complain, say maybe there's something wrong with this picture, he blew you off." 

"Blew me off?" 

"Told you it was your problem, not his." 

"Essentially, yes." 

Ray leaned forward, anxious to know how bad it all got between his Ben and this asshole Steve. "So, what'd you do?" 

"I loved him." 

The words hurt, hurt like a fucking punch in the gut. Ray swallowed hard before he prompted, "Yeah, I figured. You wouldn't be with someone if you weren't in love. I get that. What I don't get is why you stayed if it made you feel so bad." 

"You stayed with Stella long after it started making you feel bad, Ray." 

"Good point and low blow." 

"I'm sorry, Ray. I suppose I feel a bit defensive." 

"I get that, but we're not talking about me. I need to understand what you were thinking when this happened." 

"To understand that, you'd have to appreciate how good he made me feel most of the time. He made me feel things like I'd never known, made me feel special somehow beyond being Robert Fraser's son. All my life, I'd felt barely tolerated, not really loved. When I was with Steve, he focused only on me. That kind of intensity blinded me to his true character and the honest evaluation of the dysfunction of our relationship." 

"Is that Canadian for he used you?" 

"We used one another, Ray. A relationship, even a bad one, is never one-sided." 

"I know that, but I also know that back then you were probably green enough to believe anything this jerk told you." 

"True enough." 

"So, what finally happened? You swore off the booze and he took a hike?" 

"A hike?" 

"Yeah, you know, took off, called it quits, game over." 

"Not exactly." Ben stood up, his face suddenly drawn, his voice tight. "We'd planned a weekend together. Steve had a friend who loaned us his cabin. Once we got there, Steve started drinking and became belligerent when I declined to do the same. Chances of intimacy grew slim as his confrontational attitude became abusive. We argued and he left." 

"He drove drunk?" 

"I tried to stop him, but he hit me." 

"Hit you, like in he punched you? Son of a bitch." 

"Ray, he never made it back to the Depot. We found his body the next morning." 

The soft, solemn words stopped Ray's rant in its tracks. "Jesus, Ben, I'm sorry." 

Ben didn't seem to hear, just kept going. "I fear I despaired somewhat after that, became depressed to the point that my commanding officer required I see a physician for a complete evaluation. I didn't tell him the true reason for my condition. I fabricated a bit and led him to believe that it was the stress and strain of adapting to the new life in the city. I explained how difficult it was living in close quarters after being raised in the Northwest Territories." 

"And he bought that?" 

"Well, enough. After that, I decided to push myself even harder to be a good officer." 

"Which you are." 

Ben stopped pacing and smiled, settling beside Ray. "Thank you. I do like to think I've managed some expertise at this point in my career." 

"You've got expertise out the ass, Ben." 

Ben smirked and shook his head in mild amusement. "Nicely phrased, Ray." 

"You're welcome." 

Ben's expression darkened. "But it wasn't quite as easy as I thought it would be. Steve's memory and the positive aspects of what we had, what I no longer had, haunted me. I found drinking to be an escape from that. Mind you, I never drank on duty, but there were times when I might have been better equipped to perform if I'd had a clearer head in the morning." 

God, Ray hated to think of Ben drinking by himself like that, getting soused and passing out alone and lonely. Been there and done that himself and it was not a good place to be. "You went to work hung over?" 

"On occasion, yes." 

"Not good, Ben." 

"Agreed." 

"But it's not the end of the world. It happens. No reason to beat yourself up over it." 

"I endangered myself and others by not being truly fit for duty, Ray. I can never forgive myself for that." 

"Is that what made you stop, messing up on the job?" 

"I badly misjudged a situation. A young man ran from a robbery and I, along with another Mountie, Constable Charles Hughley, gave chase. We finally apprehended the culprit, but he pulled a knife. Normally, I could've disarmed him easily, but because of my condition, I failed. Charles Hughley suffered for my mistake." 

Ray hated to ask, but forced himself. "Dead?" 

"No, but seriously wounded. We got the suspect, but Hughley could've died, Ray. I realized that I needed to stop drinking. Since then, I've only had a few glasses lifted to the queen." 

Ray wrapped an arm around Ben's shoulders and pulled him into a hug. He kissed his cheek. "I'm proud of you." 

"Proud, Ray? I nearly got a man killed because of my self-indulgence." 

"But you didn't and you quit. It's not easy to stop. I've known a lot of people who couldn't. So, yeah, I'm proud of you. You went through a tough time and survived." 

"But I don't feel proud, Ray. I feel ashamed, ashamed of what I let Steve do and how I behaved afterwards." 

"Just means you're human. You're always harder on yourself than anyone else." Ray cupped Ben's face and turned it toward him. "Dot it. File it. Put it in a box marked done. It's history. Let it go." 

"That's not easy for me to do, Ray." 

"You've done your penance. It's time to move on." Before Ben could argue, Ray captured his mouth and got busy, his tongue strong and possessive. Ben responded by pushing him back on the couch and moving over him, weighing him down. Moaning into Ray's mouth, Ben ground his hips against him. Ray pulled back enough to breathe and whisper in his ear. "I love you. Let's go to bed." 

"Right you are, Ray. Bed it is." 

* * *

Ray lay on his side watching Ben sleep, the puzzle that was his partner playing over in his mind. There were so many things he still didn't know, but wanted to know. He pushed back a wild strand of dark hair and saw the flicker of eyelids. Blue eyes opened and met his gaze. "Good morning, Ray." 

"Morning." 

"How long have you been awake?" 

"Long enough to take Dief out and then sneak back without you noticing." 

Ben frowned. "You took him out already?" 

"Yeah, and you didn't budge. Must've been tired." 

"I was." 

"Figured." 

Ben took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Ray, about last night" 

"It's okay." Ray ran a finger along Ben's cheekbone and then over his lower lip before he kissed him. He pulled back and whispered, "I'm glad you told me." 

Ben flicked his tongue and licked his lower lip nervously. "I've never really told anyone about Steve." 

Ray rested his head on Ben's chest and closed his eyes. "You have your Steve, I have my Stella. We all do things we're not proud of, Ben. You've got to learn to let things go." 

"I'm trying." 

"Good." 

Ben cupped the back of Ray's head and then rubbed his hand back and forth over the short blond hair. "You're good for me." 

Ray turned his head and licked a nipple, pleased as hell at the sharp intake of breath and the full body shudder. "Yeah, and I'm going to be even better before you get out of this bed." Using his tongue, Ray swirled the hard nub into his mouth and then sucked. Ben moaned deeply, his cock already starting to harden. Shifting up, Ray played with both breasts a while before heading south, his mouth taking its time, his hands teasing and stroking the skin, the belly, the hips as he mapped out all the tight muscles along Ben's body. 

Then he threw off the sheets and shoved Ben's thighs apart, moving to kneel between them. Using one hand to steady the cock, he opened wide and took in the tip, his tongue working to improve suction. Then he bobbed his head, letting Ben's cock fuck his face, letting Ben's hands ride the back of his head as Ray controlled the rhythm. His jaws ached at the force, at the thrusting, but he kept going. Then he used a spit-slick finger to push into Ben's hole without warning. Ben called out his name and shook all over, his body jerking and then thrusting in deep one more time before stilling. A flood of salty tang washed over Ray's tongue and down his throat. He made sure Ben didn't slip away before Ray was finished with him. After a few moments, Ray moved his finger in and out a few more times and the cock twitched again, Ben groaning deeply. 

Finally still, Ray released Ben's cock, more than pleased with the glazed and completely satisfied expression on his lover's face. His own cock begged for its reward, but he took time to lean in and kiss Ben first. After a few seconds, Ben's attention flickered and turned to Ray. "Dear Lord, Ray, that was amazing." 

"You're welcome, but we're not done yet." 

"Anything." 

Ray laughed and kissed Ben's mouth, the lips slightly swollen and red already. "You know the things I like." 

Grinning, his face sweating, Ben nodded. "Indeed I do. The question is, which particular thing would you like on this occasion." 

Ray kissed Ben hard and then turned over, his ass slightly raised, his breathing still ragged. "Your tongue." 

With no more talking, Ben spread Ray's legs, got between them and then used both hands to massage Ray's ass before spreading the cheeks. Strong thumbs held back the muscles as Ben leaned in and went to work, his rough whiskers burning the super tender skin. Fire whipped up Ray's spine as Ben tongue fucked him over and over, the wet kisses and licks like tendrils winding up through Ray's gut, his cock leaking all over the sheets. Ray's right hand wrapped around his own dick and stroked it, matched the rhythm of tongue thrusts inside him. Ray groaned as he came, the spasm a cross between pleasure and pain. Ray jerked several times as Ben gave one final flick of the tongue before stretching out over Ray's back. Ben's mouth fastened onto the side of Ray's neck as they both collapsed worn and sweaty into the mattress. 

Air burned Ray's lungs as he managed a few words. "Love you, Ben." 

"And I you, Ray." 

* * *

Scrubbed and fresh from the morning shower, Ray sat at the kitchen table drinking his coffee while Ben sipped his tea and read the paper. Neither man spoke right away. After a few minutes, Ray broke the silence. "Oh, hey, I fixed up Frannie." 

Ben looked up, surprised. "With whom?" 

"Turnbull." 

Ben straightened and then shook his head. "Ray, Ray, Ray" 

"What?" 

"Doesn't that seem rather like delivering the Christian to the lion?" 

"What's religion got to do with it?" 

"What I mean to say is, Turnbull is a bit naive. I'm afraid Francesca Vecchio might be too, how should I put this, urbane for someone like Turnbull?" 

"Urbane? Frannie? We talking about the same lady?" 

"Indeed we are, Ray, at least in relation to Turnbull." 

"You mean she'll eat him alive?" 

"Something like that, yes." 

Ray shook his head and then finished his coffee. He got up, poured some more, and then added some M & M candies. "You know, sometimes I think you like Frannie mooning all over you." 

"Don't be ridiculous, Ray. I'm just concerned that a man like Turnbull might not be fully aware of the seriousness of Francesca's advances." 

"It's not like they're getting married." 

"We don't know that." 

"Come on. Can you imagine Turnbull and Frannie getting hitched?" 

"The mind boggles." 

"Still, it'll get her out of your hair for the opening ceremonies and dinner Friday night." 

Ben put his coffee down and turned to stare at Ray, his eyes even wider. "Are you saying Turnbull intends to take Francesca to such a formal event?" 

"Yeah. Why? Is that a problem?" 

"Not in and of itself, no, but " 

"But what?" 

"It's been my experience that even with the best intentions, Turnbull's efforts at courtship often end in disaster." 

Intrigued, Ray sat back down at the table. "Okay, okay, wait a minute. When's Turnbull ever had a chance to date? Spill and give me all the dirt." 

"Ray, it's not polite to gossip." 

"Forget that. I'm your partner and I set up Frannie. I need to know this." 

Reluctantly, Ben sat back, folding the paper and then crossing his arms. "Suffice it to say that Turnbull is here in Chicago for similar reasons as myself." 

"He came to Chicago on the trail of his father's killers?" 

"No, he is out of favor in Ottawa. Apparently, he dated a rather wealthy and influential man's daughter. When she rejected his attentions, he continued his efforts to win her affections." 

"Don't tell me Turnbull was a stalker." 

"Not stalker, per se, Ray, but he did become rather obsessed. His commanding officer decided it might be a good idea to put some distance between the young lady and Turnbull before he embarrassed himself and the service more severely." 

Ray sat back, amazed. "Funny, he doesn't seem the type. I mean, sure, he's a doofus, but a stalker? That's just too weird." 

Ben studied him a few moments before he spoke. "Didn't you do much the same thing with Stella, Ray?" 

"It's not the same thing." 

"Isn't it?" 

Suddenly pissed, Ray stood up. "No, it's not. I was just worried about her. I wasn't stalking her. Jesus, why do you do that?" 

"Do what, Ray?" 

"Keep harping about that whole thing with Stella and Orsini. He was a scumbag. I was just looking out for her." 

Ben kept his voice calm and steady, his eyes never leaving Ray. "You and I both know that's not completely true." 

Anger swarmed over his skin and Ray moved to the sink. He dumped out his drink and then turned, his back pressed against the counter, his arms crossed tightly over his chest to hold himself in. He closed his eyes and counted to ten and then added another twenty. The rage settled down to irritation before he trusted his voice. "How did this get turned around on me?" 

"I wasn't making a judgment, Ray. I was just pointing out that strong feelings and the expression of those feelings sometimes take inappropriate form. You've learned from your experience. I fear that Turnbull might repeat the pattern." 

"You want me to get them to call it off?" 

"It's not your place to do that. I just hope that this event doesn't trigger an obsessive response in Turnbull." 

Ray cocked his head and sighed, more tired than mad. "You know, you could've warned me about him." 

"He's not dangerous, Ray. I'm sure Francesca will be perfectly safe." 

"Yeah, maybe." 

Ray stood very still as Ben stepped closer. "Ray, I'm sorry." 

"It's okay. I was out of line back then, kind of out of my head, you know? I'm not proud of it. Hell, I'm surprised Stella didn't slap me with a restraining order." 

"Or take you to bed." 

Ray's head snapped up. "What?" 

Ben swallowed hard, but didn't look away. "I didn't mean to say that out loud." 

"But you did." 

"Yes, I did." 

"So what are you saying exactly?" 

"I suppose I'm saying that your ex-wife has a notorious habit of sending you mixed signals, signals, I might add, that you tend to interpret in your favor." 

"You spoiling for a fight?" 

"No." 

"Then why are you saying all this shit about me and Stella?" 

Crossing his arms, Ben leaned back against the counter, his position a twin to Ray's stance. "Perverse insecurity, I suppose." 

"Insecurity about what? Me and Stella? You're kidding." 

Sighing deeply, Ben shook his head. "I'm afraid not." 

"You freak." 

"Ray " 

"Shut up." Ray turned and grabbed Ben, pulling him into a quick hug. He squeezed him tightly and then released him. Still holding onto his shoulders, Ray shook his head in disbelief. "You think I'd put anybody's dick in my mouth? Huh? You think I'd let just anybody do what you do to me?" 

"Ray, I'm sorry. It's my problem, not yours." 

"You're wrong. It's my problem. You think I'd ever go back to Stella after being with you?" Ben's hesitation shook Ray to his bones. "You do. You fucking think I still love her." 

"You've said as much, Ray." 

"Well, yeah, I still love her, but I don't love love her like I do you. Don't you get that? Don't you get that you're it for me from now on, the one and only, the whole shebang? Don't you fucking get that?" Ray used his hand under Ben's chin to lift his face, to meet that sad gaze. "Tell me you get that, Ben." 

"I want to, Ray." 

"Then do it. All you have to do is look in my eyes and believe it, believe in me, in us." 

Ben did just that, staring into Ray's eyes, the nervous tics gone, the intensity almost more than Ray could stand. After a few moments, Ben blinked and then smiled. "I'm a fool sometimes, Ray. Forgive me." 

"Done." Ray leaned in for a brief kiss and then stood back, still baffled by Ben's behavior. "What brought this on? Couldn't have been the whole Turnbull and Frannie thing. After last night and this morning, I would've thought you'd have been convinced we're a done deal." 

Ben paused, but then answered softly. "I had a dream." 

"A dream?" 

"Yes, a rather disturbing dream." 

Tilting his head, Ray studied the solemn features. "A nightmare?" 

"I'm afraid so, yes. You were in a deep sleep and nothing I did could wake you. Stella came and kissed you awake. You couldn't see me as you walked off together." 

"Damn. That's scary." 

"Yes, it was." 

"No, I mean, I had the same dream, well, sort of the same dream, only different." 

"That makes no sense, Ray." 

Ray didn't listen but went on to explain. "I was in a deep sleep, freezing even, and I heard my name being called from far away, only it was your voice, not Stella's. You tied me to your back and drug me all over the mountainside and God's creation and then you finally made camp and got this fire going. You warmed me up." Ray flushed deeply as he remembered the hot kisses, the slick tongue thawing out the chill. "It was a great dream, no Stella in sight. Only you." 

Ben sighed and ran the back of his hand up along Ray's cheek. "I like your version better." 

"Me, too." Ray hesitated before he added. "We good here?" 

"Yes, Ray, we're good." 

Leaning in for a kiss, Ray captured Ben's mouth. He ground his body into Ben's and moaned deeply before pulling back. "Damn, we can't do this. We have to go to work." 

"Regrettably, that's true. However, I should be available for lunch today." 

Ray loved the way Ben said lunch, the way Ben's hips thrust forward just enough as he said the word. "Oh, yeah, lunch it is." 

* * *

Ray walked into the squad room and stopped dead in his tracks, eyeing the huge bouquet of long-stemmed red roses on Frannie's desk and a box of chocolates the size of Fraser's hat. Damn, Turnbull didn't waste any time with the hearts and flowers biz. As he stepped closer, he heard Frannie come up behind him. "Ray?" 

He turned and found serious brown eyes staring at him. "Yeah, Sis?" 

"Don't sis me. We've got to talk." 

"I'm supposed to see the Lieutenant." 

"The Lieutenant's in personnel." She motioned her head down the hall, not to the break room, but toward one of the interrogation rooms. "Hit it." 

Something about her voice told him to stall, to hold out, that whatever conversation she wanted might break his balls even more than usual. "Frannie, come on, I've got work to do." 

"Move it, buster." 

Ray didn't bother to argue, knowing full well how useless that would be once Frannie made up her mind. As he followed her to the room and she shut the door, he wondered what the hell Turnbull had been up to in just one day. "So, what's up?" 

"What's up? What's up? Why didn't you tell me that Turnbull was such a doll?" 

"A doll?" 

"Yeah, a doll, a gentleman. I had no idea." 

Relieved, but playing it smart, Ray smiled like a guy in the know. "Well, yeah, he's cool." 

"Well, he's no Fraser, but " 

"Who is?" 

"Right." Frannie leaned back, her butt braced against the table, her arms crossed. "Seriously, Ray, I like him. He's really a nice guy." 

"That's great. Congratulations." 

"Well, not quite. He's still Canadian." 

"You can't hold that against him, Frannie." 

"I don't understand half of what he says half the time." 

"Fraser's the same way." 

"Don't I know it." Frannie stopped and edged closer. "Look, I don't want to hurt Fraser's feelings about this. Have you told him I have a date with Rennie?" 

"Rennie?" 

"Rennie for Renfield." 

"His name's Renfield Turnbull?" 

"That's no worse than Stanley Kowalski." 

"Good point." 

"So, did you tell Fraser?" 

"Yeah, first thing this morning." 

"This morning?" 

Ray did a double beat, thinking quickly to cover the slip. "I stopped by the Consulate to see when he's coming back to work at the station." 

Frannie's lips pursed, her eyes narrowed. "I thought he was living at your apartment until he found a place of his own?" 

"Who told you that?" 

"Rennie." 

Big-mouthed Canadian needed a good kick in the head. "Well, he is, but he'd left already." 

"Huh uh." Frannie kept staring at him, studying him, making him sweat. "So, you're saying he's sleeping on your couch?" 

Ray crossed his arms, his hands tucked up under his armpits. "Where else would he sleep?" 

"Good question." Frannie didn't look away, but her lips thinned. "You know, I always wondered." 

"Wondered what?" 

"Why Fraser never picked up." 

"Picked up?" 

"I'm not stupid, Ray, blind maybe, but not stupid. Last night Rennie and I were talking and he said a few things. I don't know why I never put it together." Before Ray could break in, she added, "I guess I didn't want to see it." 

Throat dry, Ray forced himself to speak. "See what?" 

"You two." 

"What about us?" 

"Don't keep denying it, Ray." She turned her back to him, her voice suddenly choked. "I just wish you would've told me so I wouldn't have made a fool out of myself all those times when I was throwing myself at him. Why didn't he just say something?" 

Tongue heavy, Ray touched her shoulder, ignoring the flinch, keeping his hand in place. "He didn't want to hurt your feelings, Frannie. He loves you." 

"But like a sister." 

"Yeah, like that." 

"He could've told me." 

"We couldn't take the chance." Ray turned Frannie to face him, her cheeks damp and her eyes red. "Nobody can find out about this, not until your brother gets home." 

"I know that." Frannie pulled a tissue from her pocket and dabbed her eyes. "Your cover's safe. I won't tell anybody." 

"Thanks." Still anxious and unsure, Ray took a deep breath. "Look, we would've told you, but we just didn't know how, and then there's this whole undercover thing, not to mention the gay cop thing." 

"I get it, Ray. You don't have to beat me in the head with a crowbar." 

"You mean hammer?" 

"Hammer, crowbar, whatever. It's okay." 

"You sure?" 

Frannie shrugged. "I have to admit, I was upset last night, but Rennie was sweet about it." 

"Turnbull knows about us?" 

Frannie looked at him like he was stupid on top of being a jerk. "He was shocked I didn't know. He tried to make me feel better." 

"And did he?" 

"Did he what?" 

"Make you feel better?" 

Suddenly flustered, Frannie blushed. "Yeah, yeah, he did in his own way." 

"What way was that?" 

She swatted his chest and shook her head. "None of your business, but let's just say that some things are the same no matter what country you're from." 

Ray got it and grinned. "Good kisser, huh?" 

"Ooooh, yeah." Mood brightened from the memory, she straightened up and cleared her throat. "Listen, I think this thing with Rennie might go some place. He's coming over tonight to meet Ma and the family." 

"That's great, Frannie. I'm happy for you." 

Touching a hand to Ray's chest, Frannie's voice softened. "It would've never worked out with Fraser and me, I know that. I just hope it works out between you two. Fraser deserves something good. You hurt him and I'll kick your ass from here to Canada and then I'll tell Ma to take a shot, too. Got that?" 

"Got it." 

"Good." She scooted away from the table and stepped to the door, pausing as her hand touched the knob. "Be careful, Ray." 

"About what?" 

"We work around cops all day. Dewey's already said a few things." 

"Fuck Dewey." 

"Not in this lifetime, thank you." Her tone sobered. "Just be careful, that's all." 

"Sure. I will. Thanks, Frannie." 

As soon as she left the room, he wiped the sweat off his face with both hands. Frannie knew, Turnbull knew, others suspected. One part of him didn't give a shit, kind of hoped it all came out. It'd be out of his hands then, out in the open where it belonged. The other part, the cop part, knew that would be bad, very bad, one of the worst things that could happen while he was still undercover. 

Standing up, he cocked his head with a snap and cracked his neck, putting on his game face. He could do this, be straight, be Vecchio, do the job, at least until lunch. Then he'd talk to Fraser. 

* * *

Ben didn't give him much of a chance to talk, just grabbed him and pushed him against the wall, his mouth capturing Ray's and taking no prisoners. To be honest, Ray didn't put up much of a fight, just surrendered to the onslaught of a horny, frustrated Ben. It turned him on like nobody's business when Ben took over, shoved him around, and did whatever he wanted. Invariably, whatever Ben wanted, Ray wanted, too. Funny how that all worked, how it fit, but Ray didn't want to look too closely, do anything that might jinx it. Instead, he went for it, giving as good as he got, pushing back against Ben's incredible force, taking whatever Ben gave and then returning it with just as much intensity. 

Ray dropped his face to Ben's shoulder and bit through the serge. Ben groaned loudly and then hissed his name, "Ray, Ray, Ray" 

"Bedroom, yeah, I'm there." 

Ben dragged him forward, all his usual grace gone. "Undress." 

"Sure, no problem." 

"Now, Ray." 

Ray turned and studied him, his own heart pounding, and frowned. "What's going on?" 

"Just do it. Quickly. Please." 

Without hesitation, Ray took off his gun and holster, putting them on the chair, not bothering to secure them as usual. He stripped off his T-shirt and unzipped. Then he toed off his sneakers, grateful not to be wearing boots for a change as he slid out of his jeans and boxers. Meanwhile, Ben had off his boots and uniform in record time. 

Naked, Ben took Ray by the shoulders, sniffing up one side of his neck first and then the other. "You smell wonderful." 

Ray cupped Ben's cheek and raised his head. "What's going on, Ben? Did something happen?" 

"I missed you. Terribly." 

"I missed you, too, but " 

A finger to his lips shushed the next word. "Ray, please, no talking, not now. We don't have much time." Ben settled on the edge of the bed, lying back with his legs spread. With more urgency than Ray could remember in a long time, Ben took his hand and pulled it down to his erection. "Please, touch me." 

Not needing to be asked twice, Ray did just that. He crawled on the bed between Ben's thighs and wrapped his fingers around the length of Ben's dick, the twitch and heat making his own cock leak. Ben closed his eyes, lost in the moment. After a few strokes, Ray lowered his mouth to start sucking only to have Ben stop him. "No, Ray." 

Puzzled, Ray studied the sweaty features of his lover, not sure what to do. Ben loved blowjobs, got off faster than a speeding bullet every time Ray's mouth got anywhere near his crotch. "What then?" 

Ben licked and then bit his lower lip nervously. "I'd like" 

"What, Ben? Tell me what you want." 

"I'd like you to, well that is to say, I'd like" Ben's eyes closed again, his breathing even more ragged as he failed to say the words out loud. 

Ray shook his head, wondering why the hell Ben could do it, but couldn't say it. "You want me to do you, Ben? Is that what you want?" 

Ben whispered. "Yes." 

Ray shifted and sat on the edge of the bed. "Why now? We've never done that. Why do it when we're in a rush?" 

A hand palmed his bare back, Ben's voice strained. "I don't want to talk about it right now, Ray. I just need you to do it." 

A plea laced the words, something Ray rarely heard. He swallowed hard. "You sure?" 

"Very sure." 

Swallowing back his own doubt, his own questions, Ray reached for the side table and took out the lube. "How do you want it, front or back?" 

"I want to see you, Ray, watch you." 

Nodding, Ray repositioned himself between Ben's thighs and put his partner's legs over his shoulders. The whole time he slicked his fingers, he kept a close eye on Ben, checked out the flush of skin, the sweat, the bobbing and glistening of his cock. Turned on like crazy from seeing Ben's arousal, Ray lifted himself into position and added more lubricant. Guiding his dick, he eased the tip into the tight opening. Ben's groan stopped him. "I know it hurts a little. You want me to stop?" 

"No, Ray. Please." 

Ray recognized that voice, that deep into it husky voice Ben got when they were doing it and the whole world disappeared around them. He wallowed in his own shudder of anticipation and then pushed in harder, an inch at a time, tiny thrusts meeting resistance that gave way with persistence. By the time he buried himself inside that silky heat, Ben grunted and then shoved back, urging him to hurry, his deep blue eyes now open and watching Ray fuck him for the first time. 

As soon as the muscle relaxed enough, Ray pulled out and then thrust back in, rocking the bed, setting up the rhythm, a fantastic rhythm, a beat he could dance to. In a matter of minutes, he choked back his own scream as rockets fired through him, his whole body jerking with his release. Sparks zapped his vision, his bottom lip caught between his teeth, nearly bleeding. Beneath him, Ben shuddered and shook as he came within seconds of Ray. 

Collapsing, Ray struggled to breathe, catching just enough air to keep his brain alive. He withdrew slowly and grabbed a wipe from the side table to clean them both. His lover now lay with his eyes squeezed shut, his creamy smooth chest still heaving and shiny, his dark hair soaked and plastered to his forehead. 

Ray pulled up a sheet to cover their cooling bodies and then lay next to Ben, wrapping an arm around him, pulling him close. He kissed a shoulder and whispered, "You okay?" When Ben didn't answer, Ray lifted his head and frowned. "Ben?" 

"That was quite amazing, Ray." 

"You liked it?" 

"Indeed, I did." 

"Well, good, that's settled. You like being a bottom sometimes. Go figure." 

Ben opened his eyes and smiled. "That surprises you?" 

"Well, considering we've never done that in the month we've been together, yeah, a little." 

The smile disappeared. "I'm sorry, Ray. It's just " 

"Just what?" 

"I wasn't ready." 

"And you were ready today? Why today?" 

"I'm not sure." 

"Don't pull that with me, Ben. You know you know." 

Ben shifted closer and closed his eyes again. "I was in a meeting with Inspector Thatcher." 

"What's that got to do with us?" 

"Well, instead of worrying about the proper canapes for the Prime Minister, I was thinking about what it would be like to do this with you." 

Ray squeezed him affectionately and laughed. "Good to know I win out over canapes." 

"There's no comparison, Ray. In fact, I would venture to say that you win out over anything Inspector Thatcher might have to say, ever. Therein lies the problem." 

"Problem, what problem?" 

"I seem to be rather distracted from my job of late." 

"That's because you're a cop and not some caterer, Ben. The Ice Queen might get off on wine lists and this kind of hoity toity bullshit, but you don't." 

"That's very true, Ray, but still, it's my job." 

"So, you're blaming me because you're distracted?" 

"Not in the least. If anything, I'm grateful." 

Ray kissed the side of Ben's temple. "Me, too." They stayed quiet a few moments before Ray added, "That doesn't explain the sudden need to do this today though, not after all this time." 

Ben turned in his arms, his gaze meeting Ray's. "I hadn't allowed anyone to do that since Steve. I imagine telling you about him gave me an opportunity to accept that you're not like him in any way, that I can trust you." 

Ray's gut tightened. "Did he hurt you doing that?" 

Ben slipped down, resting his head against Ray's chest. "Yes. I must confess that you surprised me when you seemed to enjoy it so much." 

"Now you know why." 

"Indeed, I do." Sighing, Ben added, "I suppose we should shower. I'm supposed to be back by one." 

"Me, too, but I need to tell you something first." 

"What?" 

"Frannie knows about us." 

Ben stiffened in his arms. "Are you sure? How do you know?" 

"She told me. Turnbull spilled the beans last night." 

"But how could he know?" 

"Apparently, he's a better Mountie than we thought. He must have noticed the empty cot for the last mouth and the fact that you're living at my place." 

"We could be roommates." 

"As far as most of the world is concerned, that's just what we are. Turnbull and Frannie know different." 

Ben sat up and pulled the sheet over his belly, frowning. "How did she take it?" 

"A hell of a lot better than I expected. I think having another Canadian in the wings helped." 

"Excuse me?" 

"Oh, did I forget to mention that? Frannie and Rennie, they're an item. She's introducing him to Ma Vecchio tonight." 

"Good Lord." 

"Tell me about it. Frannie makes up her mind and she moves quick. Turnbull won't know what hit him. Stalker, my ass." Ray shifted his weight and moved to sit next to Ben, skin to skin under the sheet. "At any rate, she said she'd keep it to herself." 

"That's good then." 

"Well, up to a point. She said we have to be careful. People are talking." 

"Who?" 

"Dewey for one." 

"Any others?" 

"She didn't say, but I figure if Turnbull figured it out, we need to watch it." Ray picked up Ben's hand and laced their fingers together. "Me, I don't give a rat's ass if people know, not for me, but it's this whole undercover gig. We have to be careful." 

"Do you think I should move back to the Consulate?" 

"Not unless you want me to shoot you." 

"I'll take that as a no." 

"Smart Mountie." 

Ben squeezed his fingers and then lifted the hand to his mouth, kissing it. "Still, as you say, we need to be more circumspect in our behavior." 

"I know. I hate it, but I know." 

"It's for a good cause, Ray." 

"I said I know, okay? Vecchio's ass is our responsibility. You don't have to tell me. I get it." 

"You sound angry." 

"Not at you, but at the whole situation. By all rights I should be able to tell the whole fucking world how lucky I am. As it is, we're stuck just being good buddies." 

Ben moved closer, turning, his hand cupping Ray's cheek. "But we know the truth, Ray. Surely that's what matters the most." 

"But duty comes first." 

"To a point." Ben's fingers traced the edge of his jaw and then Ray's lower lip, still puffy from being bitten. 

"What do you mean, to a point?" 

"I mean, I won't lie about this if confronted. If need be, they can make different arrangements to protect Ray Vecchio." 

"You saying pull me out of the assignment and put someone else in?" 

"Or bring Ray back early." 

"The feds won't like that." 

Ben's eyes twinkled. "Fuck the feds." 

Ray nearly choked. "Fuck, Ben, you used the F word." 

"It's a perfectly good word, Ray, a bit crude, but very effective if used sparingly." 

Sliding down, Ray relaxed against Ben, eyes closed, drinking in the heat, taking in the rugged smell of wool and sweat, of mind-blowing sex with a Mountie. "So, what you're saying is we go on like we are and if things change, we've got a backup plan." 

"That's what I'm saying." 

"And this plan B doesn't include ditching me, right?" 

"Ditching you?" 

"Yeah, saying so long, it's been great, see ya later?" 

"No, Ray, there's no ditching involved." 

"Great, greatness." 

Ben petted his hair as he spoke softly. "I love you, Ray." 

"I love you, too, Ben." 

"Unfortunately, despite that, we need to shower and get back to work." 

"Duty barks, huh?" 

"Indubitably." 

Ray didn't get up right away, but stayed still, resting in Ben's strong arms, drifting. He wished like hell he didn't have to work, that he could just lie there until he got his second wind and could go at it again full throttle. Stella always said he was a greedy bastard. Greedy or not, he wanted Ben Fraser forever and he'd do whatever it took to make that happen. 

"Don't go to sleep, Ray. We have to get to work." 

"Not sleeping." 

"What then?" 

"Dreaming." 

"A good dream?" 

"The best." 

* * *

The End 


End file.
